Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Clean house...Clear mind....

I grew up in a very clean house with a strict mother that insisted everything be in order, and although it was a pain I secretly loved it. Lets face it kids like order, rules, and routine,  however they will never admit to it. With that said no one likes living in chaose either.

 Later in my teen age years my mother changed she fell into a bit of a depression and stop caring. That's when I started to lose control and eventually followed suit, I did try everything I could to bring her back. I would clean and declutter, organize and stay positive, but it was a losing battle. Years later I came to realize she was the one who set the mood in the house if she was unhappy we were all unhappy and so on, so I gave in and just went with it. Nowadays we don't speak for reasons beyond comprehension.
So anyhow here I am on an impromptu day off, cleaning to clear my mind. Cleaning is my therapy, I turn on my ipod full blast and do the time warp while I dust,  launder, vacuum, blah blah blah. I turn into a cleaning machine on days like today when I have a lot on my mind. Today also happens to be my daughters twenty first birthday, she had a big party planned over the weekend that she had to cancel due to her grandfathers passing. And last night my uncle lost his battle with cancer. That poor kid has had so many parties canceled time and time again, our relatives insist on passing on or right before her big day. She thinks she's cursed , I think its just a coincidence well except for my grandmother she did it on purpose so we would never forget her. Yes I am joking sort of but if you knew her you would understand.
Normally I would have been up all night baking and planning my big surprise, instead today I clean, pray the cake I sent her arrives in the next few days..(On line cake shopping sucks the big one by the way, not one single place I contacted was able to deliver a cake on her actual birthday ) I might bake a small cake for us just because cake sounds amazing right now!  But before the cleaning-fest beings I hear blueberry pancakes calling my name  ;)

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