Saturday, July 14, 2018

Finding my own way...

I had a little breakdown on Tuesday, the stress of letting people back in your life. Opening up and reaching out after reconnecting and having them ghost you again got to me. It slowly started to cause me major anxiety, and on top of that dealing with being alone eighteen hours a day finally made me explode. I tend to hold things in a lot, I don't like to burden others with my problems. Obviously, that technic has not gone well for me in the past so I decided to try a different approach. I reached out to my best friend. Ironically he is going through a transformation of his own, he decided to try eating clean, exercising and just being overall a more positive person. He and I are so much alike, our friends and family are dropping like flies, so we have found ourselves alone for the first time in a long time. Yes, we have each other, but we live in two different states hours away. We can't just go out for coffee or hang out anytime we want to, and it sucks. So we decided to make our selves accountable to each other in our struggles to change our situations. It's been a few days and I can honestly say its helped me so much. We WOMP (Whats on my plate) pictures of each other's plates, I learned that term when I once upon a time gave Fit Girls a try. You basically challenge someone via text message or the gram with #WOMP and the reply with a picture of whats on their plate. It works when you know you have to be accountable to another person. We send each other daily mantras and fun music and work out videos. He sends me the funniest videos he likes to make. I'm really not into recording my self but I might just do it to make him laugh.

The monsoon season has begun and it's been cloudy every day so that might also be affecting my mood. Maybe just maybe normally I love the rain, lightning, and thunder. Today the sun was out nice and bright so I decided to check out the free Zumba class that our complex offers and check out the temp in the pool. I skipped Zumba, it was three women in the clubhouse jamming out with a room full of people trying to celebrate a baby shower, awkward! I walked straight to the pool, the water was so nice and warm! So I went back to my apartment changed, picked up a towel and some water and spent a few hours sitting there enjoying the sun. Now if you knew anything about me you would know that's a huge step for me. We've lived here for over two years and today was the first time I went in the pool and or hung out there by my self! I can't swim and I hate cold water, and I don't feel comfortable hanging out in public places by my self. It was great! The only thing missing besides Mikey was my floatie, my little lungs don't hold enough air to fill it up. Oh well, next time! Because yes there will definitely be a next time! Fuck what anyone else thinks imma a do me!

Monday, July 09, 2018

A little retail therapy ain't never hurt no body...

A little retail therapy on this gloomy hot Monday? Why yes why don't we!  Ulta keeps emailing me 20% off your entire purchase coupons with "prestige brands" included. So needless to say I am all in! Plus I had some points to use up, so why not?! I've been dying to try some of these products out. I'm such a sucker for cute packaging but I have heard that Roller lash is amazing. Normally I only buy drugstore mascaras, the Covergirl Lash Blast is my favorite! I tried the Loreals Lash Paradise and I was so disappointed. The formula is pretty good but the amount the comes out of the tube! It's like woah! hold on a minute no need to rush. If your not careful you'll end up with those nasty Tammy Faye (RIP) Baker spider eyes! I need a tube that wipes off most of it to give you control as you apply. Then again I am a very plain Jane conservative when it comes to makeup application. You would never guess that if you saw my stash. 

After spending a few hours getting ready my mom would always say  " I really don't know how you can take a few hours to get ready and come out looking the same!" She never understood my no makeup, makeup routine lol. Which is so confusing to me because growing up I wasn't allowed to wear makeup until I was sixteen. And what she meant by makeup was a little eyeliner, clear mascara and lip gloss, no red or bright colors, so more like chapstick or those flavored clear lip gloss. After four years of that, how was I suppose to all of a sudden magically transform my self? She never taught me how to apply and or not apply it. And during the dark ages, there were no Youtube tutorials just magazines full of people who looked nothing like me telling me what products I should try on my brown skin. Now I love that I can play around with so many products,  not to transform my self but to enhance my natural features and have fun. I love watching Youtube tutorials and reviews,  learning new tips and tricks! Okay, enough ranting I am going to go play with my new makeup. At least that's what Mikey calls it. He walks in on me when I'm rearranging my stuff and says "oh your playing with your make up today!" lol men...!!

Sunday, July 08, 2018

Self care Sunday or Sunday funday??Cheers!!

Last night I was able to get most of my cleaning done, it only took me a few hours but with a few social media breaks and a meal break before I knew it was already 11pm. I wasn't able to vacuum or clean the patio. Mikey slept in so I did some meal planning for the week and worked on my billboard. After the finishing up yesterday's to-do list I was going to take the rest of the day off but now that the apartment is clean I have the rest of the week to chill. So why not knock off some little things off the never-ending monthly to-do list like cleaning my make up brushes. I had a sample of the Real technique deep cleansing gel and I have to admit I was a bit skeptical. I've tried other brand and nothing really cleaned them like my J&J baby shampoo olive oil mixture. At first, it seemed like it wasn't working it took a long time to scrub off but it worked and I was happy with the results. My brushes came out squeaky clean. Of course, I did put a little conditioner on them just in case.

Doesn't it feel great to have all your brushes nice and clean!! For me, it's not a chore I turn on some music zone out and just do it!  Now everything on our weekly list is done its now officially self-care Sunday! Time to tune into Netflix pour ourselves some wine, pull out the facial masks, hair treatments and give ourselves a mani-pedi! Cheers!!!! 

Saturday, July 07, 2018

Readjusting.. The new normal...

Where has the time gone it's July and only less than six months away from Christmas!!!!
I have obviously strayed yet again from my writing no excuses moving on. I am all over the place today so it's going to be a messy post sorry in advance.
So our work schedules are driving me crazy. I have been on forced overtime and Mikey works nights now, so until he's up I really can't clean. I am on a mission to find a schedule where I don't have to spend all my afternoon's cleaning, the last thing I want to do is clean after working ten hours and then cook dinner for that day and lunch for the following day for Mikey. I'm left with no time to do anything else. I want one day to clean and then I can just tidy up until my cleaning day like I used to do but I can't seem to get back on track. For example, today its already five o'clock half the day is gone and I have so much to do. My place is pretty clean but I feel like I need to do a good deep clean and then I can move on to having one cleaning day a week. That last statement sounds so crazy right?! Why am I so neurotic?!!
So I made this room by room list, I am starting in the kitchen. Clean and organize the refrigerator, pantry, and cupboards. Wipe down the appliances and cabinets. Clean and declutter the countertops. Sweep and mop the floor. The office and the living room just need a quick tidying up, dusting, and vacuuming. The patio needs to be dusted and swept. The bedroom needs to be dusted, vacuumed and the linen changed. Bathroom needs to be cleaned and the mats washed.  Let's see how much I can get done today. I am putting my self on a social media time out to see how long it takes me to get it all done. 5:30pm The clock begins now!!