Saturday, May 09, 2015

One day at a time.....

Between my illness and my lack of motivation  I decided   to take a different  approach  to life these days. Even though I have felt a lot better I still have managed to make very little  progress in my crafting goals.My mind is ripe with creative ideas waiting to burst out and come to life. But you know that saying you make plans and God laughs...well God and Mikey laugh..Being a poker players girl means spending countless hours in smoke filled poker rooms. Well no smoke really I just like the way that sounds because it make me think of how poker rooms are portrayed in the movies. You actually can't smoke in poker rooms  at most casinos. Last weekend Friday  through Sunday  was spent in a casino,one of those days we were there over 24 hours straight. I really can't say which day because its all still a blur I lost track of time. Honestly  I don't  mind  I have my poker bag with my electronics, I listen to music,play games watch Netflix  and YouTube tutorials while eating chocolate. Basically the same things I would be doing at home except I'm sitting at a poker table or at the sports book.When the weather permits I  go for walks on the strip, I people watch until the wee hours. I drink gamble when I'm in feeling lucky or I just relax and kill time.  Last  night I played my first live poker game for a few hours, I was so excited  until I received  some sad news from my daughter .Her grandfather  was in the hospital dying, I was unable to concentrate  for the rest of the night. He passed away surrounded by his family  and he didn't  suffer, knowing  that brings me comfort. But having my daughter  in another state is difficult  at times like this I would like nothing more than to rush to be by her side but I can't .
Well in the brightside I lived through it and I am willing  to play again, I   know your thinking how hard can it be to just sit and play but in the last few years my anxiety  has kind of taken over little by little to the point where I panic in certain social situations. It's something  I have delt with for years. In college  a professor  taught me how to talk my self down from the ledge, I was able to control my anxiety  and avoid panic attacks  for years. But over the last couple of years due to some traumatic events my anxiety  has once again reared it's ugly head and although I can still talk my self down at that moment it feels like I won't   be able to and come closer and closer to losing  it each time. Oh how did this post get so personal...oh well so my point is one day at a time is my new stress if can't get to it today it will be there tomorrow. Now my chores are a different story, weekends use to be my cleaning  days but now that we are in WSOP mode I clean during the week,on my flex days and during  my lunch  breaks. This has taken some getting use to and I really don't  like spending my lunch time cleaning  so that has to change soon.
Anyhow as we speak I'm sitting in a poker room somewhere in sin city and I think today  I have been productive in my own way..I wrote this post and got some thoughts outta my head..writing  relaxes me...I found out poker tables have USB ports weeeeee!!!! Trust me that's  a good thing... I chatted with my daughter  all day and I will continue  to do so until  one of us falls asleep . Good  night from the poker room at the MGM Grand..PS this is my view for now and one of those handsome men is my Mikey...wish him luck! ♤♡♢♧

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