Saturday, May 05, 2018

Last night I sat and re-read my previous blogs, and  realized one, I write about cleaning a lot. And second from May of 2017 to January of 2018 I wrote nothing not one single thing. I had so much to write about too but I decided to ignore my desire to let it all out and just fall back into my shell and  hide from the world. For the past two years I was dealing with a horrible case of what I had been told  was eczema on my face. This may sound vain but it was debilitating, I mean its your face! It's the  first thing people see! There was no hiding it, during the flare ups it would be scaly and dry. Leaving me with scaring, what I often called leather face. Anyhow I spent thousands of dollars on creams and doctors with little to no satisfactory results. I found some really great oils and natural remedies that help a little and kept me sane. But I opted to stay home and hide mostly until early December. I had a horrible tooth ache that needed a root canal. When I finally went to the dentist he prescribed an antibiotic. After two weeks and  I started to notice the itching was gone and my scaly, peeling skin was healing! I went to my doctor a month later, by then my skin was looking so much better. Her response was "Oh wow! maybe it wasn't eczema after all! " Really it took two years and a prescription for a root canal to figure it out! So it seems it was some sort of weird skin infection that started on the sides of my nose and spread to my chin,and forehead. Shortly after my visit  I had a little itching again so she prescribed a clindamycin topical cream. It has helped so much ! The scaring is almost gone and I can wear make-up again and go out side!

During all that I was also dealing with a Cancer scare and some other health issues. I gained twenty pounds over that last few years and it seems my body went ballistic. You would think that when something like that happens you jump into action. Start eating better, exercising, caring. But for me it was the opposite I was so scared I froze like a dear in head lights. It was such a dark time and I felt so alone. Mikey was great he made sure I took care of myself, he helped me change my diet and encouraged me  not to give up. In November I made my daughter come visit me for a week. Although she didn't know anything until after I got my results. Just her presence made me feel so much better. For the week she was here I forgot all my problems and just focused on spending time with her.

My mom and started talking again, after my friends death she reached out to me. I'm so happy she did I missed her so much and I hope to see her soon. Talking to her has helped me heal in so many ways.
Now the goal is to heal my relationships with my estranged children who aren't children anymore. One of them reached out to me and we talk once in a while which make my heart so happy.

So that was last year in a nutshell. This year I am trying to be a better me,the three C's are keeping me, cleaning and crafting! Writing has taken a back seat in the past few years, but this years we are giving it the college try.

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